I Wanted to Send You A Love Letter. Instead, I Ate Popcorn and Fell Asleep

I’m currently considering writing a serious romance novel. No magic (aside from the magic of love…awww), no paranormal twists, no creatures of the night. I even have a name for the story.

The catch?

I really suck at romance! I even cringe when I try to read romance novels (the, uh, smut variety). I figured I could try to write a romance novel in an attempt to relax around it. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone. It does to me.

If this helps to enlighten you all on the subject in regards to how terrible at romance I truly am, I have no idea when my wedding anniversary is. We got married in July 2009. I don’t know the date. I remember signing my marriage license on a cooler of beer. I think that speaks volumes about the sort of carefree person I am. It also lets my husband off the hook because he doesn’t remember the day either!

Our pre-dating.

I met my husband in 2008 through a mutual friend….on the internet. And when I say internet, I really mean Xbox Live. Yeah, that’s right. I met my husband while playing a video game. Call of Duty 4 to be exact. And, not to toot my own horn (I’m going to do it anyway…toot, toot!), but I was/am pretty darn good. And so is he. We met on the battlefield, and I whooped his butt all over the place! He says he tried hard. So hard, in fact, that his hands were sweating.

I’d like to say it was my gaming skills that hooked him, but I’m pretty awkward and say very weird, random, off the wall sorts of things, so I think that my personality may have been the basis of my appeal, not my gaming skills (although I’m sure they didn’t hurt). I asked him out. . . three times. He finally said yes after the third time, and thank God, we lived in the same city.

Our first date.

One of my friends had gotten married in Vegas and came home to have a reception. I figured it was a good opportunity to have a date! My car was making weird noises, and he asked me if I was worried about it. I told him I could fix it. So, I turned up the radio to block out the weird clunking noises. He laughed nervously. I think it was at that moment that I really hooked him.

We were together every moment we could be after that night. He peed in the snow for me. Tried to tell me he loved me that way. Didn’t really make it past the first few letters. I couldn’t say no to someone like that! It took a lot of effort, bravery (because it was daylight), and beverages to make that possible. Our marriage proposal was similar.

Our wedding.

We got married in a park. I walked through copious amounts of bird poop down a makeshift aisle. About fifteen people showed up, none of them my family since they lived in Michigan, and I was in Iowa going to college. I paid thirty dollars for my wedding dress. We bought our cake at Walmart. As previously mentioned, we signed our marriage license on a cooler of beer. . .then we went to the bar. Now, the way I see it, the bar had a DJ that we didn’t have to pay for. Everyone could drink, dance, and have fun. Our wedding dinner consisted of hot dogs. I ate a dill pickle as my dinner (hot dogs are nasty!). Our minister was a friend who got ordained online. We had no professional photography, fancy limos, or any idea about what we were doing. I think that’s what made it work. No pressure, no stress, just a desire to wing it. To have fun. We’re both like that. The goofier, the better.

Obviously, romance isn’t something I do. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t even know how to react if presented with hearts, flowers, and kisses. I’ve just never been the type. It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. Give me a book, my laptop so I can write, and leave me alone. It helps that he likes to be left alone, too. It’s almost a perfect relationship. Well, it would be if he’d stop leaving his socks all over the house. That drives me nuts!

So. Romance. Clearly I’m not good at it. Perhaps I’m not meant to be. Or perhaps I celebrate romance in a different way.

If I wrote this romance novel, I’m sure it would turn into some kind of awkward comedy. It wouldn’t be intentional. That’s just how I am- awkward.

Now, my marriage wasn’t/isn’t the only weird thing. I could tell you tons of stories that highlight how off the wall I am. Well, we are. I’ll save those stories for next time. They’re pretty good!

I’m not very good at this whole blogging thing. I never know what to say. . .just like when I’m in a social situation. I end up sharing some awkward story that makes people force a smile while looking at me like I’m some sort of crazy person.

I don’t edit these blogs either. I just write them. If they’re correct, yay. If not, meh. I hope you are all as carefree as I am. Just enjoy the words. 😀

Now, I’m off to go make up a word and tell my husband it’s real so he will use it in a sentence the next time he talks to someone (I do that a lot to him. It gives me a good chuckle).



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